Looking into His eyes

Originally Posted:Thursday, September 22, 2005
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Glorious: Revelation Song
Topic: martyrdom and adventure

Currently Reading
The Way of the Heart : Desert Spirituality and Contemporary Ministry
By Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Ok, so here goes. I don’t know. I’ve been sick the last few days. Now I’m better. My voice is back. Silence is good. I have a friend who just started speaking again. He took a vow of silence for a week. I’m very proud of him for sticking with it. Time seems endless now. Things seem…mundane. Yeah, that’s a good word…mundane. Mundane is OK. I think it’s a testing of commitment. Winter is over. Spring is here, spiritually. A storm is on the horizon. It will be an interesting weekend. New life is beginning to blow in. Heard a good word last night. I’ll speak of this later. God is doing something new. I can sense it, but can’t tell it. My hair is growing back. I will look fuzzy again soon. What should I do? Cut, or grow? I at least need it long for Easter. Silence is good. Sitting is good. God is good. There is rest with God.
So I had a good revelation last night. In christian circles many times we hear about vision. I heard a man speaking about how he was attacked and spent some time in the hospital. Through that God began speaking to Him about vision. He said that he felt God asking him “Are you willing to give me everything, including your vision?” He remembered some scriptures about the importance of having vision and felt God saying “I know what I wrote. Are you willing to give up everything?” Our vision is not to be bigger than God. As he said last night, “Our vision is not to be bigger then the next person we meet.” Jesus said, “Whatever you do unto the least of these you also do unto me.” How often do I find myself talking to someone and not giving that person my full attention. I’m thinking about what the next thing I’m going to say is, or what I have to do next. I’m not giving them my best. Therefore, I’m not giving God my best. How many times do we as those who claim to follow of Christ, not follow Christ and instead follow our own agendas. We do it because we are supposed to not because Jesus calls us to it. I heard a friend talking about realizing that they do that. Saying that they go to this or that just because that’s what they always do. That’s not freedom!!! When we don’t look at Jesus we end up hurting people because we do things out of duty and not out of an overflow of Jesus. When there’s no Jesus, there’s just us, and we are screwed up. We hurt people. We need to look at Jesus first, He will bring us to people. Ministry is a life lived out of the overflow of our love for Jesus. Are you looking at Him. Can you see His eyes? Can you see His tears for the hurting? Can you see His anger and contempt against sin, against the chains that enslave and defile people? Can you see His compassion as He looks at those suffering? Can you see Him broken over people? Can you hear His voice calling? Can you hear Him say that only one thing is needed? Do you hear Him asking you just to simply sit with Him? Do you love people because you look at Him? Or are you trying to convince people, that you are loving? May we all get to a place where we genuinely care for people and how they are doing. Let us all stop looking for another notch on our belts as “Christians”. Lets not look at our own agendas. Lets not look at our programs. Lets go back to looking at Jesus. Lets look at Him.

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