Originally Posted: Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Currently Reading
The Genesee Diary
see related

So….it comes.  The winter.  Time is useless now.  Un-productivness has kicked in.  My hair is longer now.  I am almost a year older from when this started, almost a year ago.  I am without people to confide in.  There is the time of deadness.  The time of killing off.  The time for things to die.  I don´t have a cell phone.  Nothing is to important enough to need it.  I am not important enough to need one.  I can´t place importance on myself.  Value…yes.  Importance…no.  Poverty is everywhere.

What do I do when little kids come up to me trying to sell me cigarettes for money?  I feel bad that all I can do is buy them a little food and that is it.  I can´t fix it.  I hate it.  The desperateness that they have.  That I have.  We all are so desperate.  I need Him.  He can fix it.  I can´t.  It hurts.  I am unimportant.  I can´t do it.  But I am valued, and He can.

God help to show them You.  I can´t do it.